Stress is part of life these days but we need to watch that it doesn’t become a way of life! The world is so busy and we can easily get caught up in the frenzy.
As the stress response, i.e. how we react when faced with a challenging situation, is set in the early years it stands to reason we want to keep those levels under control while our children are young.
Children are very much emotionally attached to mother or caregiver thus stress (or depression) will be absorbed and taken on board by the children. These patterns, set an early age, can cause higher sensitivity to stress later in life.
Too much stress can make us feel unable to cope and this affects a child’s wellbeing.
Ways to avoid things getting too much for us include:
- Take time out when your children are asleep. Have a sleep, read a book, blob in front of TV. Forget the vacuuming!
- If you are having a bad day go out for a walk. Fresh air and nature work wonders for all.
- Play some music and dance together with your children.
- Plan time to have fun especially as a family. Go to the park/have a picnic at the beach, go for an evening walk together.
- Make sure your child has plenty of stimulation. Often naughty behaviour indicates boredom.
- Have some time out for yourself. It could be a long uninterrupted soak in the bath while your partner or friend minds the children, coffee with a friend, a walk by yourself or even getting the groceries on your own!! Keep in touch with things YOU enjoy.
- Share child minding with a friend. Take turns minding the children while the other has a break.
- Talk over problems with your partner or a friend. Sharing helps unload and often gives new ideas to try.
- Spending time as a couple is also very important. A meal out, or a movie, etc can bring back memories of pre-children days!
- Do ask for help when you need it. Often partners or family are happy to help if you specify what needs doing. They tend not to be mind readers!
- If you ever come to the end of your tether at any time with your child it is OK to leave them safely in their cot/room while you go outside or to another room to calm down. Talk over these feeling with partner, parent , teacher or someone else who you trust.
Remember in the aeroplane you are advised (if needed!) to always put on your oxygen mask first before helping anyone else? Parenting is the same. If you look after yourself first then you can be a whole lot more user friendly to your family!
